Take a seat, people. This might take a while. It’s about the much credible Censor Board that governs what’s fit for us Indians to watch and what’s against our sanskars. Pahlaj Nihalani leads the show, of course.

Ever since ‘Befikre’ got out of the CBFC headquarters with zero cuts and a U/A certificate, there have been questions. Some very legit questions. Just in case it isn’t obvious enough, ‘Befikre’ is probably the boldest Yash Raj Film ever with 23 on-screen kisses. The trailer has Ranveer Singh and Vaani Kapoor painting the town red with their PDA. The posters are designed around their kisses FFS!

A quick recap. Last November, there was an uproar because the very same CBFC cut a kissing scene from ‘Spectre’ because it was too vulgar for the Indian audience.

Very recently, there were reports that even Aishwarya Rai Bachchan’s intimate scenes from the film has been chopped off because of the same reason.

So when ‘Befikre’ got a U/A certificate, DNA stepped up on behalf of the rest of the media and addressed the elephant in the room. Journalist and film critic Subhash K Jha demanded a justification for this bizarre decision that goes against the standards CBFC has set for itself and we cannot believe Pahlaj Nihalani actually gave this explanation.

Firstly, there is a difference in the intention and purpose of the kisses in ‘Befikre’ and the ones you mention in the earlier films (‘Tamasha’, ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil’). Those earlier kisseswere very intimate and sexual in nature, and also shot in lingering close-ups. In ‘Befikre’, the kisses are used as signs of affection, warmth and kinship. And they are not shot in close-ups. That makes a helluva difference in terms of impact.” Pahlaj Nihalani said.

“I feel Befikre reflects a global attitude to public affection. Aditya Chopra has made a film thatwill appeal to young people all across the world regardless of creed, class, culture, colour and race. In that sense, ‘Befikre’ is not reflective of Indian values per se. It’s not a mirror of the Indian middle-class sanskaar. It’s more about how the young, even young Indians, behavewhen they are abroad and are brought up with different values.” Pahlaj Nihalani went on to insult our bullshit-detectors.

Right. So, ‘Befikre’ is about how young people behave abroad and that’s why it is acceptable to show them kiss. Wonder what Imtiaz Ali did wrong with ‘Tamasha’? Maybe he should have based his movie outside India. Like…maybe, Corsica?